He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I need to calm my uterus...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
