What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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