The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That accounts for only three of the penises
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
