no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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