i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
