People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
