I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
