How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
