I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
