i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
