How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
