Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
