therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
