I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
