I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
