i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize