I love black thongs
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
