batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
