If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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