Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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