like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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