dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
