No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
