His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
