Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
