I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
