I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Randomize
