Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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