so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
