Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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