SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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