Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
