barbara walters just said penis...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
