Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it was like eating out sand paper
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
