one might say we're banned from that church
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
