I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
