i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
