No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
