anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
worst night to have a conscience
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
