now i know why i became what i already was.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
