HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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