Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
