Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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