On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
