The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
