im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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