Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He did a backflip because drugs
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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