i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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