omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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