If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
