I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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