its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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