please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
