i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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