another moral hangover. fuck.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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