I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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