Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
