it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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