i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize