It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
