discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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